#116 - Pattern Interruption

Do you want to break the cycle of self-hatred and negative feedback loops? Jem Fuller is sharing the solution so that you can achieve pattern interruption.

"Today, we look at pattern interruption and often effective tool for breaking free of our negative feedback loops on The Light Inside, as it often resembles self hate."

In this episode, you will learn: 

1. The difference between constructive and deconstructive criticism, and why deconstructive criticism can often become negative and demoralizing.

2. The factors that can trigger extreme self-hatred, such as post-traumatic experiences, perfectionism, false expectations, and social comparisons.

3. The idea that it is impossible to understand reality completely objectively, and that introspection can often lead to an inaccurate understanding of oneself.

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Constructive criticism.

Why does it often seem to so hard to find clear, direct, and honest feedback? 

And even more so, why is it that we can be so hard on ourselves?

As we each move though our day-today lives, what happens when our self criticism becomes something worse- more sinister. While constructive criticism can often be both beneficial and effective. Destructive criticism, on the other hand, happens as we focus solely on our problems. This kind of feedback, offering no encouragement, help, or support for improvement.

When its self-focused - it often becomes negative feedback loops which simply become demoralizing. And despite our best intentions, we find it difficult to break free of our repetitive thought cycles. 

Today, we look at pattern interruption. An often effective tool for breaking free of our negative feedback loops. 

On the Light Inside. 

Chapter Summaries:

[00:00:03] - Jeffrey asks why it's so hard to find clear, direct and honest feedback. Jeffrey looks at Pattern Interruption as an effective tool for breaking free of negative feedback loops. On The Light Inside, Jem Fuller teaches us how to reframe our inner self talk so we can eliminate negative feedback loop and repetitive thought cycles. People before the age of seven in your home environment, church environments and grandparent figures are important.

[00:06:26] - Jeffrey finds it fascinating that humans are trying to understand reality. He believes that it's impossible to observe anything completely objectively. Jeffrey believes that some kids are more inquisitive than others. Jeffrey doesn't know how telepathy works, but he uses it to communicate with his partner. Jeffrey has seen things in his life that he can't explain. He wonders why, as an animal, as a creature, why do we have the desire or need or the ability to see a beautiful rainbow? Jeffery wonders why we create the why not rather than the why can't question. Jem is interested in the language patterns of Australian people. That can often become a very challenging cycle for each of us.

[00:16:32] - Emotion plays a big role in triggering the response of the trauma. For example, when he was six years old, his father beat him up and threw him around the room. It was a traumatic event that became lodged in his brain and it triggered him throughout his adult life.

[00:19:15] - Jem lost his marriage, his house, his career and his two kids. He had a midlife crisis. He is trying to break things down and simplify his life to find meaning within the suffering. Jim believes that we are one embodied system, each process requiring the other to work as a team to reach our essential effectiveness. According to you, people default back to the illusion of being separate from their environment. The illusion is fundamental because how on earth can we be separate from everything? It makes me think of something else you said before when you said that people default to this perspective.

[00:25:46] - Jem believes that the ego is necessary, but it can get in the way of a person's sense of identity. Jim has three grown children and is now grandparents. He has a positive view of the ego. He believes that ego is an illusion.

[00:29:07] - Jeffrey is six months older than Jeffrey. Jeffrey is following some of the practices that enrich and encourage us toward our essential elements. Jeffrey finds the ongoing practice of mindfulness meditation beneficial. Jeffrey's family is a multi-generational family, and he finds it fascinating to observe them. What I'm talking about is consciously brainwashing or rewiring a sense of identity.

[00:34:33] - In his affirmations every morning after meditating. He says he is a kind, caring, generous, open minded, loving, action taking man. His ego identifies as this because he identifies as being kind this week. He worked with an individual this week, and it reminded him that the core values are simply a suggestion. Jem is grateful to have a car and his family. He believes in the idea of being a consistent soul or entity or personality throughout his life. Dr. Benjamin Hardy wrote a book called Personality Isn't Permanent. Jem had two identity crises in his life, one in his early sixties and the other in his late 20s. Jeffrey spent a year wandering around India barefoot with dreadlocks and trying to re-identify his identity after leaving his fiancee and his family for a new one. Jeffery believes that if we can't forgive ourselves for the past, we will live that out into the future. Jeffrey explains how the brain works. He explains how memories and associations play into the perception of belief and how they affect our perception of reality. He suggests that the more judgmental we are in a moment of the moment, the more associations we attach to the people involved. When you're rigid, you're breakable. When you're flexible, adaptable of mind and body and soul, then you're more durable can be very important. Simply opening to acceptance and possibility can be triggering. At times, uncertainty moves people into an insecure state.

[00:56:53] - Motivational factor is the reason why you're doing something. Donald Trump uses the term in a negative way. Emotions can play a role in the motivation to move and take action when they're emotionally engaged, with a reason why and guided by your values.

[01:01:35] - There is no need to have a North Star or a higher purpose in order to find your purpose in life. It's up to you if you want to discover your purpose and find it for yourself. Emotions and values can be used as a litmus test to determine if a decision helps or hurts your mission.

[01:04:13] -Jeffrey believes that seeing things with new eyes is essential in changing our view. 

Other episodes you'll enjoy:

- Confidently Surrendering the Pattern of “No” to Break Negative Mind States
- Self-Acceptance: Developing Positive Self-Awareness From a Neutral Perspective 

- Openness: How Experiential Avoidance Closes us to More Expansive Life Experiences and Learning

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